Good Relationships Are Critical to Good Growth
Have you ever heard the idea that we become like the five people we spend the most time with? While this may not have hard scientific backing, there’s plenty of anecdotal evidence and psychological principles that support it.
Social dynamics and interactions play a significant role in shaping who we are. The phenomenon of social contagion suggests that we unconsciously mimic the behaviours, attitudes, and beliefs of those in our social circle.
Our relationships naturally form around shared interests, values, and experiences. So, it’s no surprise that when we spend significant time with certain people, we begin adopting some of their traits and perspectives.
Who Are Your Five?
Think about the five people you spend the most time with.
Do you share common hobbies, career goals, or personal interests?
Are your communication styles or approaches to problem-solving similar?
Do you hold similar values around family, success, or personal growth?
By reflecting on these similarities, you can better understand how your social circle influences your life—and whether it aligns with your personal growth goals.
When my daughter was younger, she had a best friend. They spent nearly every moment together, whether at our house or hers. Over time, they began dressing alike, speaking similarly, and sharing the same interests and beliefs. People often thought they were twins.
This wasn’t unique to her—it happened with all my children. They became a reflection of the people they spent the most time with.
Your Circle Shapes Your Success
The people you surround yourself with will significantly impact how fast and effectively you grow.
If you want to become a competitive athlete, spending time with other athletes will accelerate your growth.
If you aim to start a business, surrounding yourself with entrepreneurs will inspire and guide you.
But sometimes, your key relationships might be holding you back without you realizing it. This is tough, especially if you genuinely enjoy spending time with those people.
Influence vs. Time
It’s not just about how much time you spend with someone—it’s about how much they influence you during that time.
A friend once told me about a relationship they had with someone who was draining. Despite their efforts to inspire change, the friend remained self-focused and emotionally exhausting. Eventually, my friend made the difficult decision to see less of them to protect their own growth.
Change Starts with You
For others to change, you often need to change first. If you’re not intentional about your own growth, you may unknowingly become a limitation to others’ growth.
Once you understand your purpose and decide the kind of person you need to become to live in alignment with it, choosing the right relationships becomes clearer.
Be Strategic About Your Relationships
Think strategically about who you spend time with and how they influence your growth. These relationships might include:
Family
Friends
Work colleagues
Mentors or coaches
Social and affiliated groups
The Relationship Audit
To gain a clearer picture of your relational influence, try this simple equation:
Relationship Effect x Time% = Relational Influence
Steps to Perform a Relationship Audit:
Identify the key relationships in your life.
Assess the percentage of time you spend with each person per day.
Evaluate the influence as Positive (PI), Neutral (N), or Negative (NI).
Example:
Relationship Time Spent (%) Influence (PI/N/NI)
Family Member A 20% PI
Friend B 15% NI
Mentor C 10% PI
By auditing your relationships, you can identify which connections fuel your growth and which might be holding you back.
"Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher." – Oprah Winfrey
Your relationships shape your growth trajectory. Be intentional about who you allow into your inner circle and surround yourself with people who elevate and inspire you.
Reach out, and let's take time to discover how we can progress together. Remember daily to, 'Find value in your influence.' Your voice matters, and I'm excited to hear from and work with you!"
Written By: Paul Fawcett.
