Re Framing: Look at things differently

A picture paints a thousand words, and how a picture is seen can vary from person to person based on their perspective. This was true for Stacey when she walked past a painting hanging in her hallway. Something bothered her about the painting that she couldn’t pinpoint. After some time, she arrived at the conclusion that it wasn’t the painting at all, it was the frame that wasn’t right, and it needed to change. She thought for some time about what frame she would change to, and on that decision took the painting in for reframing. After a few days she got the call to say that the painting was ready to be collected. When she arrived at the shop the attendant had set up the newly framed painting on a display trestle. She was amazed and couldn’t believe how much the new frame had transformed the painting; she saw it from a whole new perspective.

She took the painting home and rehung it in the same spot down the hallway.  From that day on, every time Stacey passed the painting, she had a new appreciation and love of it.

There have been many times in my life when I have looked at situations and relationships like Stacey did with her painting. I have made assumptions of things based on how I have framed them according to my beliefs, world view and perspectives. Is this something that is true for you as well?

Carrie Doubts author of ‘Reframing Relationships’, says:

To reframe is to step back from a something and look at the frame, or 'lens' through which your reality is being created. To reframe is a metaphoric way of thinking about something that provides distance and the opportunity for discovering and adopting a different point of view.  Definitions for reframing include:

·       to support or enclose (a picture, photograph, etc.) in a new or different frame

·       to look at, present, or think of (beliefs, ideas, relationships, etc.) something in a new or different way

·       (Photography) to change the focus or perspective of (a view) through a lens

My 5 Learnings:

·       Assumption is never the right frame to use, never assume

·       Looking at things differently helps me to see things differently

·       Asking questions of people and situations helps to create a better understanding

·       Look at relationships from a different viewpoint, especially broken relationships

·       Create time to think about frustrating situations and endeavour to understand why they are like that and what could be done to make them better  

Reframing isn’t something that just happens, there needs to be an intent and a willingness for you to change. There needs to be an acceptance that you are not always right and that you, at least are an equal part of any complexity (good or bad) that is in a situation or relationship.

To reframe assumptions, try to ask more questions of the situation or relationship so that there is a clearer understanding of the dynamic and what might be going on.

My 3 Questions for you:

·       What situations are you frustrated by and how can you attempt to understand them better?

·       What assumptions do you make based on your beliefs, world view and perspectives?

·       What questions can you ask to have greater clarity and understanding about a relationship or situation?

 “If you change the way you look at things the things you look at change."

― Wayne Dyer

If you have something you have learnt from this blog, or if there is something you have questions about, please talk to me. I would be happy to chat with you.

 Remember daily to, “Find value in your influence”