The Authentic You
What you see is what you get. I’m trying to come to terms with the idea that there only needs to be one authentic version of me. This is the version that people see and are either attracted to or repelled by. For many years I have adapted to situations, these situations have compelled me to behave in a way that is reflective of the expectation of what others think of me. So what I have been grappling with, is the idea of who is actually the authentic me.
When I was younger, I remember a time when my parents took me out for dinner. We didn’t go out much, so this was a pretty exciting experience for me. We looked through the menu and my parents asked me what I would like to order. Without hesitation, I said, Fish and Chips. For me this was a special treat, wrapped in paper that we would sometimes get on the weekend from the local fish and chip shop. “I love Fish and Chips”. You can imagine my surprise and dismay when I received my Fish and Chips order at the restaurant; they were on a plate, with salad! I became upset because this was not the authentic Fish and Chip meal that I loved. The menu didn’t say with salad, it said Fish and Chips.
It is so important that you understand your authentic self so when people interact with you, they see you are what you say you are and this is authentic and makes sense.
In previous blogs I’ve spoken about my Strengths and Values. These are all contributory to how I think, feel, and behave. For me these combinations have been part of the problem as much as they are the solution. I am highly adaptive to situations and want to get the best out of situations and people. These innate characteristics are my blind spots.
“What you think of yourself and who you are, could be different”
Your past, present and future states are evolutions of learning. There will be different seasons, relationships, and experiences that shape who you are, but they shouldn’t replace the real you.
Here are some things I am working on that you will find helpful:
Identifying your authentic self.
Increasing your self-awareness by understanding who you genuinely are, what is manufactured in terms of your innate characteristics and how you show up. Lean into your Strengths and Values as a compass to work from. Then take time to think about your characteristics and seek feedback from others as to what they see and appreciate as the genuine you.
Practice being authentic.
Become intentional about expressing your authentic self in various situations. Be honest about your opinions, feelings, and needs. Through the process respect not own others’ opinions, feelings, and needs. This is a process of experimentation. It’s important that you remain as true to yourself as possible. Try and notice if you are behaving differently or incongruently in different situations.
Celebrate Authenticity:
Acknowledge and celebrate moments when you have expressed your authentic self successfully. Keep returning to places of success where you feel you are being true to yourself.
Embracing the authentic you is not about becoming selfish, it’s appreciating that there is more to you than you know and it takes time and intention to unpackage it.
My 5 Learnings:
My strengths define me and shape how I think, feel, and act daily.
I need to identify my authentic self, amidst external expectations and influences.
Celebration helps reinforce moments of authentic expression.
I need to be respectful of others opinions, feelings, and needs, but not own them.
Becoming intentional in increasing self-awareness will help me embrace my authenticity.
In embracing the authentic you, remember that it is a journey, and it will come with many competing tensions. Staying true to a posture of self-awareness and personal growth is key to finding the authentic you.
My 3 Questions for you:
How will you start to identify and embrace your authentic self?
How will you define moments of genuine expression that can be celebrated?
Who can hold you to account for navigating your authentic you?
- "Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are." - Brené Brown-
DM me and feel free to ask any questions; I'm here to help you discover more. Merry Christmas.
Remember daily to, “Find value in your influence”
Written By: Paul Fawcett.
