Relational Capital: Growing Lasting Connections

“Relationships are a garden, and you are the gardener.” The idea of this metaphor is to stimulate the thought that if we plant, nurture, and weed the garden according to plant variety, this will reap the rewards of a flourishing garden. Similar principles apply to building relationships.

“It's hard out there for a wild animal, which is why some have come to work together toward the common goal of finding a meal or guarding against predators. These kind of relationships in nature are known as symbiosis. In biology, symbiosis describes any interaction between two biological organisms that is mutualistic, commensalistic, or parasitic.

Because zebras and ostriches are prey for faster animals, they must both maintain a heightened sense of alertness for danger. The problem is that zebras—while they have excellent eyesight—don't have a great sense of smell. Ostriches, on the other hand, have a great sense of smell but poor eyesight. And so the two work together to stay alert to predators, relying on the eyes of the zebra and the noses of the ostriches”.

https://www.treehugger.com/animal-species-working-together-in-wild-1140809

 “A friend in need is a friend indeed”

 There are many reasons why we decide to enter relationships and it’s not always the same reasons, they will include:

·       Companionship

·       Partnership

·       Friendship

·       Mentoring

·       Common Interests

·       Sporting

·       Benchmarking

 But regardless of why we enter them, the lasting value comes from nurturing them and ensuring that the relationship is relevant and secure over time. Growing lasting and meaningful relationships just doesn’t happen by itself; it requires intentionality.

 Here are 4 helpful tips to help build strong relational capital.

1.       Make building relational capital intentional

·       People don’t just show up on your door, sadly in an age where we have the greatest opportunity to connect with people via the social media dynamic, this has had more of an effect of diminishing the opportunity for real connections. Be intentional within your networks to connect for genuine reasons on a regular basis. Like a bank account, the more invested, the greater the return.

 2.       Know why you want to connect with someone

·       Here is why: Daily things are changing and the new relationship you make may possess the answer to the question you couldn’t answer yesterday. You never know when a person may be the answer to the question you have. Here is how: Have a compelling and genuine reason to connect, otherwise you might come across as ingenuine.

 3.       Be real and authentic

·       New connections want to be able to identify to, and with you. They are looking for where you can add value to them, just as much as you are from them. Be respectful of this space and ensure that you don’t take it for granted. Relationships can be for a season; this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t remain connected. All relationships don’t need to be close friends, but if you stay connected and in touch you could arrive at a symbiotic place eventually.

 4.       Appreciate the relationship

·       Become disciplined in showing friendliness and gratitude to your new and established connections. Work on in person meetings once there is trust. Prepare good and relevant questions because you can learn from everyone. Try not to waste meeting time, set time frames that are not long and drawn out. Be generous and pay for the coffee.

 Building relational capital is not a race, or volume exercise. It occurs, by consistently and regularly reaching out to people who may be able to help with what you are facing. This could be starting a business, working through an issue, or answering a question.

 My 5 Learnings:

·       Sometimes I will need a symbiotic relationship that helps me

·       My human capital will not grow, if I am not intentional about it

·       Have a genuine reason to connect with someone

·       Connections that don’t get nurtured, will struggle to become relationships

·       Not all relationships need to be best friends

Think about the best places for you to start to connect with new people. Feeling secure and safe in yourself is important, having a genuine reason to connect will help this.

My 3 Questions for you:

·       What would be the most comfortable way for you to connect with new people?

·       What will you do to keep the relationship nurtured?

·       What reasons do you have to reach out to someone for a genuine and specific reason?

Our legacy comprises the spiritual, intellectual, relational, vocational, and social capital we pass on. It's the sum total of the beliefs you embrace, the values you live by, the love you express, and the service you render to others. - Author: Michael Hyatt

If you need help with building relational capital, or if you have questions, please talk to me. I would be happy to chat with you and help.

Remember daily to, “Find value in your influence”

Written By: Paul Fawcett.