Resolving Issues: Getting Squeezed
“Squeezed the life out of me.” There are times in life where we can get emotionally crushed, it feels like life has been squeezed out of us and that we have nothing more to give. Usually this will occur when we have a lot of issues to deal with.
When I visited the Huka falls, I was amazed at how the river morphed from a large slow-moving body of water into a fast moving, turbulent, and noisy channel of water. When the large river comes to a narrow canyon, the water becomes squeezed. When it is in this state, it flows faster and becomes transformed as it moves through the walls of the narrow egress with great force. It’s the same volume of water but it has had to change how it responds, based on the pathway it is subject to. The wide, slow, body of water that ambled with ease, is now spectacular, energetic, and dangerous.
“Forces of nature are unpredictable”
Issues have a similar effect on us, they interrupt the flow of life, and squeeze us in a way that we are not used to. We become transformed, like the body of water, and we are charged with an emotional energy that often blindsides us and throws us into turmoil. This can translate as fight and flight symptoms like:
· Projecting and Accusing
· Aggression and Anger
· Blaming and Overreacting
· Protecting and Retreating
So, when we have issues, we often will frame them as difficult to deal with, because this is the natural posture we have adopted.
However, the emotional energy we experience is neither good, nor bad, it is just raw energy, harnessed by our innateness. We have a choice and can decide how we use the energy.
Think about a time when faced with a confronting issue. What did you do? Could you have responded in a better way?
When faced with the emotional tension of an issue in the future, harness the resulting energy in a positive way by applying the following:
· Analyse and Understand
- At first, step back and understand the issue so you can advance
· Confront and Resolve
- Approach the issue with a desire to see it resolved not run away from it
· Own and Empower
- Be responsible for your decisions and actions. Empower others to support you
· Expose and Clarify
- Be transparent about your contribution to the issue and ensure you understand it
· Restore and Rebuild
- If the issue is relationship motivated, ensure that there is restoration of the relationship and that it is stronger for the resolve
· Learn and Grow
- Think about what learning and growth came from the issue
However we frame it, the emotional energy will need to find a way to be spent. The best way to spend it is by front footing and taking ownership for the emotion and the decisions that flow from it.
My 5 Learnings:
· There will be times where the flow of life becomes interrupted, and I feel squeezed
· Issues will create an emotional tension in me that needs channelling
· Emotional energy is neutral, its effect on me is in how I use it
· Fight and flight can be a natural response to issues, but I can choose other options
· I will learn, and grow from front footing my issues in the right frame of mind
It takes time to change the approach to resolving issues. The initial response to an issue may still be a bit blindsiding, but as you take time to apply the above steps, you will work through it. Changing how you deal with issues won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.
My 3 Questions for you:
· How do issues affect you?
· What steps do you take when resolving an issue?
· What relationships have you lost over an issue?
“Don't find fault, find a remedy.”
Henry Ford
If you need help with resolving issues, or if you have questions, please talk to me. I would be happy to chat with you and help.
Remember daily to, “Find value in your influence”
Written By: Paul Fawcett.
